The dim green light from the nightstand alarm clock shows 2:12 a.m. A deep breath, followed by a sigh, leaves you staring past the clock to the windowpane. The rain is gently falling and the drops of water collect on the glass in sad, lonely drops. They seem so content to just be there and let time pass… slowly. The darkness beyond the raindrops hangs in the sky like a warm blanket on a cool fall night. Stars glow like bright polka dots, light years from your bedroom. You roll over and adjust the covers as your gaze falls on the shadowed silhouette of your spouse. As sleep avoids you for yet another night, you notice how content the person next to you seems to be resting.
It occurs to you that contentment is the reason that you are lying awake night after night. You are not content. You feel guilty as the thought crosses your mind. You have always been taught that being content is good, yet you are so unhappy with the way life is going for you. You remember how content your grandparents seem to be with their lot in life… poor, living off the land, and selling off the family farm to developers because they out lived their ability to refinance the farm when the note came due. They never saw it coming. They had refinanced before, and the banks seemed to be willing to help a poor farmer, even look the other way at times. But times are different now. Through it all they remained content and watched it happen to them 송파스웨디시.
You wanted to scream! They can’t do this, everyone gets older but you can’t take away the very property that they have lived on for 56 years of marriage. Where did they go wrong? You wished they had done something different, and you feel like they just “took it”, they were not as aggressive as you thought they should be earlier. They could have sold off to a developer earlier, on their terms, or to their children, or something. But it was not in their nature you convince yourself, they were from another time, a slower paced time. They were not concerned with planning for the future; they just let the future happen to them.
Lightning flashes through the window and the thunder rumbles moments later. Your bedroom lights up briefly, and the darkness overpowers the light again, you can see your parents’ home in the distance, through the windowpane. The house on top of the hill where you grew up, sits there in the quite hours of the night waiting for morning to peek over the horizon. Your Mom passed away last spring, but your Dad still lives up their alone.
Its now 4:37 a.m. and thoughts of your Dads version of contentment fill your head. He has worked for the same factory for 28 years. He complains and grumbles about the owners, the foreman, the management, even the other workers at times. He always says that he is content with his lot in life, and he seems to be, other than you know he is not happy or fulfilled at his job. Hmmm… contentment doesn’t seem to be all it’s cracked up to be in every situation, you think to yourself.
You are pulled from your subconscious thoughts by the sound of the alarm clock, 6 a.m. You hate alarm clocks, although your schedule requires them. You detest being startled awake by beeping, so you use the music alarm option. James Taylor softly sings you back to life for a few moments as you listen to “Carolina in My Mind”. You remember seeing a video of him sing that song on “YouTube.com”. He mentioned that he wrote that song while in Spain. “Spain”… sheesh, must be nice you think. A trip to Spain is not remotely possible for you… the job, the bills, the credit card debt that you hate to think about, it’s like a ball and chain that is always with you. Oh well, you tell yourself it will all work out, and to just be “content”.
As you stand in the shower and let the pelting water massager bring you to life, you feel a bolt of clarity shoot through your body. Suddenly you feel more alive and awake than you have in weeks, even years. It occurs to you that you are living the results that have been subconsciously handed to you from your parents and grandparents. This whole notion of contentment seems quite misguided. It’s taken completely out of context you determine. You say out loud in the shower, as if you are attempting to convince a jury, my life has been the sum total of my limited expectations and decisions. Every risky proposition that life has offered me; I have backed down from, and used this notion of being content as a shield from my own mission in life.
Business opportunities, investments, wild adventures (like trips to Spain to write a song), could never become a reality in my life, because I don’t allow it. I have been pre-programmed to expect lack and limitation in my life. By default, due to my expectations, I make decisions that bring these things into my reality. I have avoided situations that would put me into a position of prosperity, because contentment with less seemed falsely noble. As if my parents and grandparents would appreciate me for turning down the finer things in life, so as to drudge along as a martyr wearing a burlap sack.
Where does this concept of contentment balance with a natural desire to prosper? You have always wanted a Legitimate Business From Home, and you see people successful at this every day. This proves it CAN BE DONE. They are wealthy, happy and content with their success. They have not limited themselves to a certain dollar figure per year. They expect to make many millions in the next few years, and retire young. Do you dare consider that to be an option for yourself? What if you fail and people laugh at you? What if society does not accept you as an entrepreneur? You dismiss this as ridiculous. Entrepreneurs create jobs for other people.